Written by Simran Grewal
Everywhere from the classroom to the bus stop, we see ads promoting helplines and support for people experiencing physical abuse. Everyone from family to friends tells us that if we ever are physically harmed by a partner we need to tell them. Everything we know about abuse is about hitting and bruising someone. No one mentions how words can cut like knives or how manipulation can leave you questioning your own sanity. Just because you can’t see these scars doesn’t mean they aren’t real.
Abuse can be categorized into a couple of main categories. There is physical abuse, emotional/verbal abuse, sexual abuse, financial abuse, and digital abuse. Physical abuse is the only one on this list that includes hitting or throwing things and there are six types mentioned. Emotional or verbal abuse is one of the most common types of abuse that many people have experienced without knowing it. This type of abuse happens anytime non-physical abuse takes place, so some examples are name-calling, threatening, humiliation, and gaslighting. Sexual abuse, while it may sound only physical, can occur without physical acts. This is because sexual abuse entails any behaviours that pressure someone into doing something sexual that they do not want to do. Non-physical examples include verbally pressuring someone into doing sexual acts and using sexual insults against someone. Financial abuse is not a commonly talked about form of abuse, but it is still equally as valid and important as the other types. This type of abuse occurs when someone is using finances as a way to control you by taking away money or your means of making money. Some examples include forbidding you from going to work, depositing your money into inaccessible accounts, or spending your money without permission. Digital abuse is the last non-physical type that I will be mentioning. Digital abuse is generally a form of emotional/verbal abuse that is occurring online through dating apps or social media. With these other forms of abuse, no physical scar is left behind. There is not a mark on your skin that proclaims abuse loud and clear, but that never means that the abuse that has been experienced is any less valid.
There is an issue within discussion and education about abuse where we only focus on the physical. Physical abuse is very important to talk about, but every other type is equally as important. Women and non-binary people experience gender based violence in a plethora of ways, but they may not even know it was abuse as it is infrequently spoken about. In order to eliminate gender based violence, we need to make it clear that being hit by someone and being gaslit are both forms of abuse. Both are unhealthy, both are damaging, and both need to be addressed in order to be eradicated.
Comments